Dave. What happened? You were playoff bound. Kevin didn’t even need this win. He only put up 82 points. He started Jerome Harrison for you.

Dave lost so either AK or Chris can get in with a win. AK, if he had won, would have had better tie-breakers than Chris. But he played the Chinese. Chris won his game and returns to the playoffs.

Frankson, Derek, Kevin, Chris would like to thank AK, Matt, Tim, Dave, Brian, Rhett for donating your money this year.

*Week 14 Review – Highlights from Week 14

AK lost a game he really needed against the Chinese. Brady shat a turd. Ricky Williams did OK. The 49ers DST had a fucking huge game. 7 turnovers and 4 sacks. They could have been playing against a high school team. My WRs had terrible games. Ray Rice is a bona fide stud. Imagine if Magahee didn’t steal his TDs. Jamaal Charles is 3 times better than Larry Johnson.

Dave broke all our hearts by losing week 14 instead of 15 or 16. Marshall had a crazy as fuck game too. Kevin made it easy. The Saints DST haven’t had a single digit game since week 6. Wish they would have saved that for next week. Thomas Jones was a brilliant trade. I don’t think anyone else has made a better trade this year.

Tim barely showed up for the final game against Derek. If not for Gore’s heroic efforts, Tim would be at around 50 something points. What happened, Tim? You were 6-4 and about to be locked into the playoffs. Losing 4 in a row in the end isn’t the way to go out. Derek only had 2 guys really producing. AP and Andre Johnson. But produce they did.

Rhett never saw that Sucker Punch coming. He still can’t figure out why he isn’t in the playoffs. Getting Ryan Grant was actually a pretty good trade for Matt. Grant, Brees and Dallas Clark all rocked 20+ points to help Matt get a week high 123 points. I’ve been saying for months that Rhett doesn’t win because he doesn’t pick the right players to start. That wasn’t the case here. Rhett could only have gotten at most 119 points if he started his top producers. It wasn’t Rhett’s fault.

Chris finishes strong to get into the playoffs. Vjax finally has a decent game. Chris Johnson continues to show Ray Rice how to be the best all purpose back. Bironas, with 19, is a strategic advantage.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Kevin wins out the last 4 games.

Tim does the opposite.

Dave takes over for me in 5th place. I’ve had this seat for the past 2 years.

*Interview – Thank you AK for your response. There will be a bonus interview of past champions starting this week. Thank you Tim for your response.

Newsletter: What went well for your team this season?
AK: Well i suppose my running backs did pretty well. but overall I am not pleased with my team.

Newsletter: What didn’t go so well?
AK: My team just couldn’t get it together, some people would play well, and others would suck. No unity. And my schedule was tough.

Newsletter: Do you feel that you made any mistakes or missed any opportunities you should have capitalized on this season? If so, what were they?
AK: Well I probably could have made some trades early on. Maybe gotten someone useful for a bench player. But I don’t know enough about football to really get unto all that.

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most surprising success?
AK: ricky williams

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most disappointing?
AK: I never had really high expectations for any of them. All losers.

Newsletter: What was your draft strategy going into the draft? How did it play out? Did you stick to your plan?
AK: Well I was told I would have 1st pick, but then that changed. So after I was moved to 7th or something. I just got whoever I thought might be worth a damn

Newsletter: Who are some players you think you might target next year?
AK: no idea, Peterson maybe

======

Newsletter: What happened to your team during the playoff run?
Tim: Everyone shit the bed at the same time. First Gore goes cold, then Wayne, They Roy Williams heats up for only one game, then Warner gets 7 POINTS! unbelievable.

Newsletter: Do you feel that you made any mistakes or missed any opportunities (waiver wire, trades, etc.) you should have capitalized on this season? If so, what were they?
Tim: My biggest mistake was spending time with a wife new to Canada and a new born baby instead of researching my fantasy games each week. I did have some pretty tight waiver wire pick ups. My coaching rating was #1 for most of the year despite ZERO time to devote to FF. That said, I should have dumped my shitty RBs early and traded wayne for a decent RB while his value was high. I shouldn’t have traded Celek for a WR. Should have traded him for a 10 point per week RB. Fucking Rhett. I thought Wallace would be much better. Should have taken Rhett’s best WR for him or gone to someone with more WRs.

Newsletter: What was your draft strategy going into the draft? How did it play out? Did you stick to your plan?
Tim: I stuck to my plan and I thought it was a great combination of sleepers and solid players. Instead the solid went soft and the only sleeper that worked Brent Celek, I had to trade to shore up holes in my swiss cheese offensive team.

Newsletter: Who are some players you think you might target next year?
Tim: If I told you that I’d have to kill you. I’m so pissed off right now that I’d love to double the stakes for next year, but I don’t think you broke bitches could afford it. Except David “English Empire” Fulvio and Frankson “canaffordayearoff” Lee.

Newsletter: Do you think we should have divisions next year?
Tim: Definitely not. Fantasy football is lucky enough already. Top four league wide should be in the playoffs.

*Looking forward

Fitz got hurt that last game and is getting an MRI. I don’t like that. Looks like he will play but could be hindered. MJD against Indy might not be great. He has been getting stuck at the goal line recently. Matt Stafford needs to get his ass back on the field and hook up with Calvin like teens on MySpace. Jamaal Charles over MJD is actually under consideration.

Kevin: please continue to start Harrison. Against KC. We can go Charles vs. Harrison. Hoping for a monster storm in Buffalo next week. Going to be a close game.

Derek has been very successful this year but every time I look at his team, I don’t see any depth. He hasn’t needed it until now. Kevin Smith is out for the season and maybe questionable for the start of the next season with a monster injury. I want him there as a run threat myself this week for the Lions. Derek must be hard at work building a shrine dedicated to Benson breaking his legs for LJ and to help Chris win.

The Donkey Punchers and Chris Johnson is going to go all DP on Derek and Miami next week. And they are going to put it in the same hole. The dirty hole. Chris used to have depth. Now he is one injury away from Rock Cartwright. Fuck shrines for Benson. I’m headed to Home Center Daiki to start on one for Chris Johnson.

Must suck to be Tim or Rhett this week. Losses make their hopes for the playoffs bleak. Good week to be Kevin and Dave. Always a good week to be Chinese though.

We have a good idea of who will be in the playoffs. But only 2 players have cinched playoff spots. There is still a chance for Kevin and Dave to not make the playoffs if they lose and if they don’t score enough points.

This is all assuming Points For is the tiebreaker (which it has been in the past).

After 3 straight wins, Kevin has a 1 game lead on Rhett and Tim. Tim appears to not have enough Points For to win a tiebreaker. Rhett is one game and 28 points back. He needs Kevin to lose and to outscore Kevin by 28+ points next week to get to the playoffs. Doesn’t seem likely.

Dave has a 1 game lead on AK and Chris. AK has a huge Points For lead on everyone from the East Division so if he wins and Dave loses, he is in. Chris is only 3 points behind Dave but one game behind. He needs to win, needs AK to lose, needs Dave to lose and needs to outscore Dave by 3+ points to get into the playoffs.

I’m also going to assume the 2 top players from each division play each other in the first round of the playoffs.

*Week 13 Review – Highlights from Week 13

Matt caught a bit of a break. My normally rock solid RBs had very mediocre games this week. Both my bench RBs did better than my starters. But my receivers had huge games. Matt had a ugly game though. Lowest scoring team of the week. Better luck next year and hopefully you can make the draft. Addai has been excellent sitting on my bench all season. I can understand why folks don’t trust him but if someone had taken him in a trade, and I was offering, they would have had a solid RB for the playoff run.

Kevin gets a clutch win against Derek. The Steeler’s self implosion and AP playing like Larry Johnson did Derek’s team in. Kevin his 7 total RBs on his team. Hope he doesn’t pick the right ones during week 15.

Brian put in a good game trying to tank Dave’s shot at the postseason. He left lots of points on the bench. Aaron Rodgers continues to be unstoppable. Dave still needs another win next week though.

Rhett couldn’t pull off a Monday Night victory against Chris. He need 12 points from the Vikings DST and Sidney Rice but only got 9. Favre threw a late TD to Harvin instead of Rice. Missed it by 28 yards to Rice. Rhett left 84 points on the bench. Chris got his RBs back. No more Rock Cartwright. V. Jackson continues to stink.

All 8 of AK’s players were playing during the early Sunday games. Don’t think I’ve seen that before. AK is the week’s top scorer. Four players with 20 or more points and one with 19. Hard to beat that. And Tim didn’t. Too bad Tim’s kicker didn’t actually play this week.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Tim grabbed Jason Campbell off the wire and started him. He was the second best QB this week scoring wise.

Tim kicker sat out this game (but it didn’t matter).

Kevin finally dropped Anthony Gonzalez.

*Interview – Still waiting for Matt’s response

*Looking forward

There are still a few games that matter next week. Really matter.

AK needs a win next week but is stuck playing the Chinese. Sorry AK.

Dave plays Kevin. Kevin doesn’t need a win nearly as bad as Dave does. While I would have preferred the last few games been against division opponents, this one is interesting because both have some chance of missing the playoffs with a loss. Kevin has Jerome Harrison running against the Steelers in his lineup as I write this. Wow. Really? But then again, Kevin’s actually good at being a coach.

Derek plays Tim next week. Tim needs to score 170 points to make up the difference with Kevin. Meaningless game for Derek. Derek is up to having 4 QBs on his roster. A good one is hard to find.

Rhett needs his team to go off like crazy to stand a chance. Can he finally find the right guys to start?

Chris gets a rematch against Brian. Brian beat Chris 2 weeks ago. Really messed up the playoff run for Chris. Can he do it again? Chris is right there with Dave in terms of Points For. Kick his ass, Brian.

Folks sure got screwed by some injuries this week. Two QBs laid goose eggs for their owner and those owners got a L. Damn near the whole league still has a shot for the playoffs though. Three way tie in the West. Three teams only one game behind Dave in second place. Two games left. Crunch time.

*Week 12 Review – Highlights from Week 12

The Chinese improve to 10-2 thanks to Matt Ryan getting hurt and laying an egg. My RBs continue to be solid but I had a rough WR day. How about Jamaal Charles. Looks like I was wrong about Larry Johnson. I’m shocked he had a productive day. Meaningless game though. Derek and I are both locked for the postseason.

Chris. What happened to your team? It’s in freefall. I thought you were good for the playoffs too. Chris went from being stacked at RB to starting Rock Cartwright. I don’t know that guy either. If you only had Jamaal Charles. Chris Johnson alone (#1 pick next season?) ain’t gonna win you every game. Great job Brian. Forty from 2 WRs is hot stuff. You get to pound Chris into putty one more time this season.

Rhett and Dave had themselves an exciting game. Dave was 6 points down with the Ravens DST to play after Sunday’s afternoon games. Rhett was freaking out since the Ravens DST was likely to put out more than 6 points. The Ravens DST didn’t do jack fucking shit the whole game but they go into OT with Rhett up 2 points. Rhett has never cheered for the Steelers harder in his life. The very suddenly, in OT, Dixon throws a pick and Rhett is crushed. A tie. He’s been here before and he lost to the Chinese in Week 3. His bench is down about 11 points. Dave and Rhett have 2 bench players left for Monday’s game but Dave’s guys are all hurt. But Rhett is victorious. He showed us what a great coach he is and left Maroney’s 20 points on the bench for the tiebreaker.

Kevin wins a tough game against AK. He had 2 guys put up no points but AK couldn’t capitalize. Tom Brady playing like Jake Delholme or Eli manning really fucked AK over.

Tim, Halloween is over. You can take off that red headed stepchild wig. Don’t let Matt beat you like one. Matt’s back in the playoff hunt after a strong win. Tim shows off four 0s on his bench. Tim looks to be seriously hurting at WR.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Kevin for playing Snelling. 20 last week. Zero this week. Didn’t cost him the game though.

Tim left his wire pick up on the bench this week. Forsett scored 25 to lead all RBs this week. Not that it would have gotten Tim a win.

Chris dropped Fred Jackson and his 23 points from his team and started Rock Cartwright for 5.

*Weekly poll

One person reported being trade raped by Rhett. Five people reported being offered some shit from the wire from Rhett. Two reported being offered shit from the wire every year.

*Interview – Thank you Derek for your response

Newsletter: What’s going well for your team this season?
Derek:  I think I’ve been really lucky with injuries, excluding last week.  My starting line is pretty strong, but my bench is weak, I guess you could say I kind of put all my eggs in one basket, and so far it has paid off.  I did a slick little double trade a few weeks ago and landed myself a great kicker too.

Newsletter: What isn’t going so well?
Derek: My QBs are really hit and miss.  Cutler has been really spotty lately. Then as soon as I benched him, Ryan hurts his toe and scores me a big goose egg.

Newsletter: Whose team would you least want to face in the playoffs?
Derek:  YOU YOU YOU.  It seems you don’t really have many off weeks, so if my whole team doesn’t show up with their game faces on, I’ll get blown out of the water.  Most other teams will put out a 70 point week every now and then, but not you.

Newsletter: What has been the key to your success or the cause of your failures?
Derek:  Like you said in your last report, we have similar lines.  My RBs (Smith is great…he just plays for Detroit L) and WRs put out a lot of points. Relying on them and hoping for my QB or DEF to have a decent game seems to work out all right.Oddly, the injuries to my DEF have hurt me a bit.  If you check the bar graph, you can see exactly when Polamalu was away.  That man is a beast. [A beast with great hair. Head and shoulders above anyone else’s. -ed]

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most surprising success?
Derek: No one has really been that surprising, because my strongest players I drafted early.  My kicker is the only player on my starting line I didn’t draft.   It reminds me of a quote I heard somewhere….

”Show me someone who sticks with only the guys he drafted, and I will show you someone who has not made the playoffs” [Funny how my team is like that too. Well I did get my kicker off the wire because someone took all the good kickers on draft day. -ed]

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most disappointing?

Derek: Although I never expected that much from him, Keller hasn’t done much for me.  I looked around for a decent TE for a while, but to no avail. I think there just aren’t that many out there. I had nothing to offer timmy when he was looking to unload a decent TE without dropping someone from my starting line.  And I’d rather have a good WR putting out points than a good TE putting out points.

*Looking forward

Teams can win out to hit the playoffs. Every game has playoff implications.

[rant] Marshawn Lynch is totally shit. Since he returned from his suspension he has made his team lose and made Fred Jackson not worth owning. Glad to see Lynch as backup to Jackson now. [/rant]

Sorry Matt. I plan on kicking your ass. I’ve got some players that might not perform due to injuries though.

AK plays Tim. Tim’s team is running with a bunch of really random guys. Could be gold. Could end up with 60 points for the week. I think AK is going to get this one.

Rhett (3 game W streak) is up against Chris (3 game L streak). Boldin might have a rough game if Warner sits. I like Rhett for the W.

Brian will try to keep Dave from the playoffs. Brian and Dave are the 9th and 10th best coach in our league per the Coach Rating. If everyone in the East loses, Dave still holds onto second place.

Derek plays Kevin’s resurgent team. Kevin will bring WR and DST domination. Derek can’t finish worse than second in his division standings even with 2 loses.

Good luck.

Happy Turkey Day. And there are very early Turkey Day games so don’t forget to set your line ups even earlier for this week’s Thursday games.

I sure didn’t expect this to have happened but there are 6 teams in real contention for 2 playoff spots. Even Rhett is in the hunt after recently performing quite well. And Chris, who I thought was a shoe in, is really struggling. And Dave is actually second in the standings with his 8th place point totals. AK is on a 3 game win streak and is outscoring everyone in his division. I’m glad I’m not part of the excitement. I have been in previous years and have proven that I am great at just missing the playoffs.

*Week 11 Review – Highlights from Week 11

My team does just enough to get the win over Dave. No thanks to Romo. And thanks to me for not picking a goose egg DST. I also have to thank Dave’s entire group of receivers. 6 of 7 of them combined for 16 total points. Rodgers is a fucking amazing fantasy QB this year. 104 points on the bench and I didn’t lose. That is called depth.

Kevin snaps a long losing streak by laying crazy beats on Chris. Chris went from 3 10 ten RBs to having just one productive RB. AND Vincent Jackson got him only 5 points. Kevin’s fortunes are the opposite. His team went off and he got 20 from his wire pickup. I’m kind of scared of Kevin’s team.

AK put himself in the playoff hunt by beating Matt. His RBs went for 44 points after Thursdays game and that was pretty much the game. Matt could have won if he played the right RBs and WRs but it must be a bitch having to choose between those guys every week.

Tim lost to Derek to give other guys a chance at the playoffs. Tim was hurt by not having a second reliable WR to go with Wayne. Derek’s starting lineup looks a lot like mine actually. Very solid starting RBs and WRs. Mid-pack QB. He has also avoided major injuries too. Especially at RB.

Rhett’s team has been playing well of late and he beat Brian. Brian could not have set his lineup any better even though Owens had 25 on his bench. I’m glad I don’t play Rhett again too.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Kevin for wire pickup Snelling. Good for 20 points. (Rhett was mysteriously not all over the wire last week.)

Chris picked kicker Bironas off the wire and put his 12 points on the bench. His starter got him 1 point. This add/drop was performed instead of finding the RB he needed.

Tim worked the wire too for Forsett’s 14 points.

*Weekly poll

Chris and AK both got 2 votes each in this week’s poll. Rhett and Dave both got one vote each. There was no runaway favorite for who won’t make the playoffs.

*Interview – Thank you Dave for your response

Newsletter: What’s going well for your team this season?
Dave: I have been winning games that I have no business winning, catching all of you other douche bags on your worst weeks.

Newsletter: What isn’t going so well?
Dave: My running backs haven’t exactly been lighting end zones on fire.

Newsletter: Who’s team do you fear facing the most?
Dave: I fear no man, but it was a pretty sure thing that you were going to beat me last week.

Newsletter: What has been the key to your success or the cause of your failures?
Dave: My secret is no trades and minimal drops/adds. For example, early in the season, RhettdubT was trying to get Rhoddy White off me for LT’s backup when LT just had a sprain, now he is my best receiver. People always try to come in and act like they are doing you a favor on trades when they should just be honest and say “Now I will fuck you up the ass with neither foreplay nor lubricant .” [Rhett might infamous for offering the shittiest trades ever. I’m actually shocked that he got a trade done with Tim. Would be interested to hear what some of the offers were before they reached an agreement. -ed]

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most surprising success?
Dave: Aaron Rodgers has been a pleasant surprise at QB. Good for 20+ week in and week out.

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most disappointing?
Dave: My entire running back core looked badass on paper (Slaton, Hightower, LT, Bush), but they are inconsistent so I can’t tell who the fuck to start each week.

I would just like to say that I have 3 games against losing teams left, so I’m fairly confident in reaching the playoffs. Also, suck it, all y’all! WHOAH YEAH! Thank you so much for your time.

*Looking forward

The top 2 teams are going head to head this week. I expect to beat Derek just because I’m writing this even though we are pretty evenly matched. Pretty much a meaningless game.

Rhett is up against Dave. This game is pretty big for both players. A loss for Dave would be a serious blow to his playoff hopes. Rhett needs this game badly too. Dave is confident about his chances because he plays 3 losing teams but Rhett’s team has been doing well lately and Kevin’s team is looking really strong too after that trade.

Kevin plays AK. Both are 5-6 and both are still in the hunt. AK has a 3 game win streak and will hope there is a shootout at New Orleans and continue to lean on his strong RBs. Kevin will hope Turner stays benched and hope his WRs have a good week.

Matt plays Tim this week and I’m sure Kevin and Rhett are cheering for Matt. Matt will focus on making the right starts. For example: don’t start Beanie Wells. Tim will hope Warner isn’t banged up from his concussion.

Chris is up against Brian. I have no idea how Chris’ rank for schedule difficulty went up. He plays Brian 2 more times and Rhett once. Chris is also 5-6 and has been on the skids lately. Brian can totally ruin Chris’ hopes with a win here.

I actually kind of like Chris’ chances of making the playoffs simply based on who he plays. (Sorry Brian). Maybe the schedule difficulty rank means #1 has the EASIEST schedule. That would explain my success. AK plays some pretty tough teams in the last 3 games and so does Dave. So while I think Chris’ team is pretty weak now, he might have the best shot at the playoffs (when Benson gets back, it will be much stronger).

Kevin has a pretty tough schedule for the last 3 games too. Rhett’s schedule is a bit easier. Tim’s isn’t so bad either. I think Tim might be going to the playoffs just because he is already ahead one game.

Damn shame no teams have any more games against division opponents any more. Would be more exciting if there were.

The big trade I was expecting happened. Kevin and Chris swapped a WR and RB. This season saw a lot more trading than the previous 2 seasons. A lot of meaningful trades happened and I enjoyed talking to about half the players about possible trades.

The other big news this week involve injuries. A whole shitload of players were hurt. Chris might have gotten the shortest end of the stick since he traded away his 3rd top RB and wound up with no depth at that spot. Can Chris still make the playoffs with that roster? Brian, AK and Kevin also took big hits at RB too.

*Week 10 Review – Highlights from Week 10

I lost to Tim. I’m a bit concerned about my record against Tim. I’m 1-5 in 3 seasons and that record fucking sucks. I could blame a ton of people for my loss. For example: Falcons DST for laying a fucking egg, MJD for taking a knee at the 1 yard line, Addai for not making it into the end zone on that last drive or Ray Rice for not going all crazy. Instead, I have to blame myself for picking the Falcons DST instead of any other team.

Rhett beat the shit out of Matt. Doubled his score is what he did. Matt’s playoff hopes might have been sealed with this loss.

Chris lost to AK even though Chris Johnson put up 35 points. Chris drops a game behind Dave.

Dave beat Kevin in a game with lots of playoff ramifications. Dave put up week leading points and Kevin’s WRs let him down. Dave is just a game behind division leader Derek. Kevin is now 2 games behind Tim due to his 4 game skid.

Derek continues to pile on wins. This week it was against Brian. Derek looks to be in good shape to get to the playoffs.