Well, I guess I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

Last night. Late enough that I don’t recall if it was 2019.03.22 or 2019.03.21, I think my wife and I separated. This is not a result I want. But the past two and a half years since she announced she would leave me have been an exercise in trying to survive with an ax hanging over my neck.

I don’t welcome this but it is a way forward. I don’t think she will accept me as I am any more than I can become the man she wants, however impossible that idea man of hers is, in the time frame she demands.

The the is the result kills me. I love my wife. I love her. I love my children. I don’t love how she all too often treats me. I don’t think she can stop feeling like I am doing too much and not doing enough. I don’t think she is as invested in our relationship as I am. I don’t think she is willing to work on it. If I did, as I have thought in the past, I might fight this. I won’t. It saddens me to my core that I don’t see a way forward for us. Because I continue to love her.

Sometimes, I really do feel my initials, FML, really do characterize my life.

• Purchase phone for Nikita
• Purchase phone for Mom
• Recommend phone for Connie
• Convertable Chromebook
• Purchase tablet for Nikita

2016.10.19 Date Night

1. Tuscany on Taylor
2. Pl-zen on 18th St.
3. Dusek’s on 18th St.

It looks like my world imploded early this morning. It has been working toward this, in hindsight, for a while. But it is quite something to experience it.

And while I stumble through my day, all sad and emotional, what do I do? I make cinnamon Craisin bread.

http://www.google.com/webhp?complete=0&hl=en

Not permanent. Sigh.

I have a sudden need to limit a laptop to content appropriate for children. Windows 10.

Here are a few of the techniques I want to try.

1. OpenDNS – on laptop, all users. Not on firewall. Currently circumventable by using IP address or resetting DNS settings.
2. Windows 10 parent controls
3. Chrome/Google (family account)/Youtube locking (safety mode on)
4. Screen visibility – laptop to only be used in a seat with high screen visibility by nearby adults

General

First Aid
Candles
Matches/Lighter
Insect repellent

Clothes

PJs
Swim
5 changes of clothes
Shoes

Shower gear

body wash/shampoo
Towel
Flipflops

Camp gear

Cook stove
cookware
utensils
plates/cups
cooking fuel
lantern
flashlight
tent
sleeping pads
umbrella
dish soap
paper towels
trash bags/bin
can opener
toilet paper

Food

??
Beer
charcoal

Wifey – mp3 player
Somer – C&H books + knex
Ying – MS Lumia 640
Chun – Lumia 640
Gma Mak – TV
Connie – face scrubber
Yunlai – rice cooker? fry pan
Gouxun – d200?
Blanca – beer glass

Hospital bills ~3.5k
patio 5k
car
Cian 1 month ~8k
roof gutter
storm drain

I’ve decided on a 2015 or 2016 Hyundai Santa Fe as my minivan of choice.

I need to purchase one over the next few months.

I think I will set up a mailbox for this project. I think it needs one. cuv@termdate.com/santafe2016

I’ve gotten on the Costco car buying program again. It is the same dealer that I don’t much like. Still worth a baseline price.

My sister bought a Hyundai in Lake Bluff at Knauz Hyundai. I liked that experience. Much better than my Mazda experience. It is far though. I need to reach out.

Knauz Hyundai
775 Rockland Road
Lake Bluff, IL 60044
(866) 660-9540 Sales

Ettleson Hyundai (Costco program)
6420 Joliet Road
Countryside, IL 60525
(708) 491-0121

truecar.com
cuv@termdate.com/santafe2016