Week 7 didn’t do a whole lot to the standings. The East Division is still in a holding pattern with lots of 4-3 teams. Only 2 games separates the top from the bottom. It is still anyone’s game there. Time to make some trades!

In the West, Tim beats Kevin to bring them even. Else everything is the same. A lot of distance between last place and first.

There are two and a half weeks before the trade deadline (11.14) so start talking up some trades.

*Week 7 Review – Highlights from Week 7

Frankson kept his win streak going against Brian with the help of Romo and Ryan Grant and the Patriots DST (off the wire). Brian left 76 points on the bench: most notably Palmer and Miles Austin with 29 each.

Rhett was the better 2-4 team as he beat AK in a non-division game. Rhett’s Vikings DST continue to put up consistent points for him. He is all over the waiver wire but the waiver pick ups he started only produced points in the single digits for him this week. Tough break for AK. Ricky Williams went off on the bench while Ronnie Brown was AK’s starter. AK is only 2 games back so he’s still in the hunt.

Dave get’s a big win against Derek, who was leading the division, to bring about a 3 way tie for first. Aaron Rodgers and Steve Slaton help Dave to his win. I have no idea why Braylon Edwards was started over Roddy White, though. Derek was attacked by injuries to his starters Leon Washington and Andre Johnson. Probably would have gotten 12 more points otherwise for the win. Derek also got attacked by Larry Johnson being a horrible human being. Someone needing a good DST (both scored 24 points)  might offer  Derek a trade for a RB…

Chris Donkey punched Matt to win this street fight and to get himself tied for first. Chris got the win with 5 guys on bye or injured and with his whole team contributing. All of Matt’s bench and 5 of his starters put up single figure point totals this game. Both players actually did perfect jobs as coaches.

Tim took down Kevin to get into a two way tie for second place. Westbrook was literally knocked out of the game and killed off Kevin’s hope for a victory. Matt Forte continues to drive Kevin crazy with terrible numbers. Tim was doing even worse at RB with every RB on his team putting up 8 total points. We all missed out on Tim’s offer of Vernon Davis’ 27 points.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Tim put Vernon Davis into his starting lineup just as he goes the fuck off. If anyone remembers last week’s word of the week, Kevin’s wiping some of it off now. Tim’s other TE wasn’t even on bye. Nice job.

A whole bunch of people pulled waiver wire DSTs and were rewarded with big points. Frankson, Kevin and Tim all hit 20+ DST points this week off the wire.

*Weekly poll

There were no clear winners to the worse first round pick poll.

Most of the league was disturbed by last week’s Newsletter picture.

*Interview

[Brian didn’t respond to the request.]

*Looking forward

The regular season is halfway done. The trade deadline is nearly upon us. The East division is all bunched up and folks are jockeying for second place in the West.

Frankson’s Chinese People are in a rematch with Kevin. Kevin can secure second place with a win from himself and Rhett.

Chris and Dave fight for leadership in the East.

AK will try to beat Derek to stay 2 games out or lose and move 3 games back.

Brian and Matt are in a non-division game.

Rhett will try to beat Tim and hope they fall into a 3 way tie for second if Kevin loses. If Kevin wins and Rhett loses, Rhett is going to be pretty far behind. Tim can secure second place with a win and a loss by Kevin.

Some guys don’t seem to be working the waiver wire hard enough.

Is it me or does it seem like DSTs are scoring a lot of points this season.

Jizz (v.) to squirt hot spunk all over something.

Jizz is the word of the week as there was jizzing in each and every game. Let’s take a look at the action. We will also see what happened to all those 3-2 and 2-3 teams

*Week 6 Review – Highlights from Week 6

Frankson squared off against AK in the week’s only close game. Both teams put up good performances with most of the points not left on the bench. In this game, Brady jizzed all over some Chinese people. They still can’t get it out of their hair it was so bad. Surely Frankson expected 30 points from Brady but 39 resulted in the coach yelling “WHAT THE FUCK!!!” four times. AK could have gotten the win if he played Holmes over Moss but Frankson left Ray Rice and his 30 points on the bench.

Congratulations to Brian for his first victory of the season. Tim shouldn’t feel bad for getting jizzed on by Brian’s team. They have been waiting to unload for a long time. Tim should feel bad for his whole team scoring 64 points (bench inclusive).

Dave got jizzed on by Matt’s team with Brees taking the lead squirt. Dave left 82 points on his bench. Reports indicate that Dave was trying to save them points up for next week’s game.

Derek showed why he was voted strongest 2-2 team by jizzing all over Chris. Hard to win when Moss gets 30 points and you leave 85 points on the bench. The Donkey Punchers look to work on their coaching skills starting next week.

In our final game, Kevin took the biggest jizz of all right into Rhett’s eyes. His whole damn team, save for Forte, took turns unloading on Rhett. 144 points worth. Think that’s the highest. Rhett was not available for comment as he didn’t want any to get into his mouth.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Props to Kevin for perfect coaching. He didn’t leave anything on the bench. Even if he hadn’t dropped Sydney Rice right before the games started, his 176 yards wouldn’t have been better than the WRs he did start. Boo at Dave and Chris for leaving 80+ points each on the bench.

*Weekly poll

Four out of 7 voters think Rhett is kicking ass on the waiver wires. Nearly half of Rhett’s team is off the wire so I would agree.

*Interview

This week we interview coach Frankson and his Chinese. It’s easier getting the format down if I interview myself this week but look forward to replying to interview questions next week.

Newsletter: What’s going well for your team this season?

Frankson: My team is scoring points. I’ve had a LOT of close games so I’ve needed every point my guys have been getting. I had a pretty good draft and most of my guys panned out. I thought I had pretty good depth at RB and WR.

Newsletter: What isn’t going so well?

Frankson: I’ve had little success playing pick the DST of the week. I’m a bit shaky at QB. Romo is inconsistent and my backup is even more inconsistent. Some of the depth I thought I had at WR and RB kind of didn’t pan out. It’s harder to pick up guys off the waiver wire when you have the last pick but I can’t complain about that.

Newsletter: Who’s team do you fear facing the most?

Frankson: Kevin. He is scoring lots of points. His opponents aren’t scoring that much against him. And he is winning. I play him again Week 8.

Newsletter: What has been the key to your success or the cause of your failures?

Frankson: I’ve been making moves on the waiver wire. They aren’t obvious successes but they win me games. I hated letting go of Hasselbeck but he was hurt and I needed those points Garrard put on that one game for the win. Smelled a bad game out of Romo. Dave picked Hasselbeck up and got a ton of points. I have been looking at Burleson and Sims-Walker all season. I picked up Burleson and Sims-Walker went nuts. But the next week I started Burleson and I needed those points he scored.

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most surprising success?

Frankson: Ray Rice. I’ve been looking at him since last season. The Ravens weren’t so strong offensively but this year they have been good. I still haven’t managed to start him though.

Newsletter: Which of your guys has been the most disappointing?

Frankson: Ryan Grant. I keep starting this fucker over Ray Rice and he keeps sucking.

*Looking forward

Next week Tim will try to extend his 3 game losing streak against Kevin. The Punchers face off with the winner gets not to have a losing record. Frankson will try to make sure Brian’s sole win remains that way. Derek against Dave. Is Derek’s team going to prove the poll right? Rhett’s going to try to wipe the jizz from his eyes and win against AK. Watch out for Brady. That fucker will jizz all over you!

Lot’s of 3-3 teams in the East Division and it’s really close over there.

I’m unemployed so I’m going to add some color to our little league. A weekly newsletter if I can manage to keep doing it.

*Week 5 Review – Highlights from Week 5

Frankson’s Chinese sits at the top with a 4-1 record. To what does he owe his success? Looks like plain dumb luck. Kevin had lots of fight left in him even with 6 of his players on bye.

Elsewhere, Rhett defeats Brian to give Brian a big 0-5 hole, riding the Vikings DST and Peyton Manning (the only 2 guys scoring any points on his 2 wins). Brian needs to string some wins along really fast here. Cmon Brian. Stop leaving all them points on your bench!

Derek, voted strongest of the 2-2 teams, beats up on Matt. Matt scores 49 points, 19 on his bench. Must have been a bye week for most of his good players.

Chris beats AK even though he continues to bench Cedric Benson and even though Chris got blindsided by Mike Sims-Walker sitting out the game. Benson is having this crazy assed season but Chris has only started him once. Maybe someone should make Chris an offer for his overachieving bench-warmer. AK was seen beating himself in the head by local law enforcement though they declined to intervene.

Dave’s team has been on a huge upswing these last 3 weeks and walks in Tim’s team while they were dancing in front of the mirror. Then they proceed to beat the dancers to pulp. Dave’s team has been going off a lot lately so Matt better watch out this week. Nice pick up on Hasselbeck, though you didn’t need him to win.

*Best plays and worse plays (yeah, that’s right, not worst, just worse than the best)

Dave picking up Hasselbeck off the wire for 27 points. Brian benching Turner and his 27 points.

*Weekly poll

Derek was voted best 2-2 team. I think Derek has strong starters but his bench isn’t as strong. Especially at RB. But you don’t need your bench to score, just your starters.

*Looking forward

Chinese people will try to beat the ’47ers to go 5-1. Brady is probably going to jizz all over the Titans so this might be rough.

Brian faces Tim during Tim’s 5 guys on bye week. Brian, it’s now or never!

Matt’s going try to stop Dave’s winning streak.

Chris is going to try to show Derek that he has the best 2-2 team.

Kevin will try to show Rhett that all those waiver wire moves don’t matter.

5 teams are now 3-2 and 4-2 is a hell of a lot better than 3-3.