The playoff push is well underway and there were some big games this week.

*Week 10 Review

I had a very nice Sunday. Colston had a big game and so did Roethlisberger. Hernandez caught one pass but it was a TD. Can’t wait to get Gates back one day. Folk redeemed himself a bit. Decent result from the Bears DST. Matt had an unfortunate game. He missed a couple of plays. Wouldn’t have been enough though.

Tim was hoping to get a comeback win against Dave. Needed a bit more from the Chargers DST but didn’t get there. Dave has been benching Fitzgerald a lot recently. But he came through on Dave’s bench. Tim made a smart move stealing TO. But he didn’t do a good job this week choosing between Best and Forte.

Derek gets a big win. He stays in a 2 way tie for the wildcard berth with this win against Rhett. Rhett had a strong game. Especially from the Ravens DST. Derek just went nuts though. Manning, 2 RBs and Bowe had great games. I just hate seeing Bowe do well. I think he’s a douche. Rhett had a shot on Monday but Orton needed to get it to anyone but Lloyd for that to happen. Derek was really nervous for no good reason. He always has the other guy’s best WR.

Brian is in the middle of a heck of a late season surge. Seems to be coming a bit too late but he’s been on a tear. Vick, Jones-Drew, Jones, Holmes and the Steelers DST all blew the heck up. Kevin put up a pretty good game with Jennings going crazy. But it wasn’t enough.

Alex was up by a bunch going into Monday. But Rivers went for 4 TDs and just barely got enough for a big time comeback.

*Best plays and worse plays

Alex played a injured WR.

Fitzpatrick would have gotten Rhett the win. Really wish I managed to get him off the wire that week.

*Interview – Thanks Matt

Newsletter: Prior to this week, I thought your shots of the playoffs were pretty good. You have a fairly easy schedule for the last few games compared to me or Derek. But now, it kind of looks bleak. Do you think you will make it?
Matt: Not likely, I’m pretty sure my hopes now rest more on you guys miraculously loosing than they do on me winning. Here’s hoping you and Derek put up some more of that playground football action. You can do it, I’ve got faith in you.

Newsletter: This was a must win game for you and me both. You made some unfortunate lineup choices. What made you finally start Bradshaw? How about those other unfortunate decisions?
Matt: I’ve started Bradshaw before this game, I’m surprised you didn’t notice. McCoy hadn’t been putting up as many points as he had recently, so it seemed like a decent choice. Ochocinco is the bane of my existence, if he’s in he does jack shit, if he’s not he gets decent points, plus he was injured this week. WTF on the tight end and kicker, both were bye week replacements I hadn’t dropped yet, those points were a big surprise. I know miller was still injured but he was playing and I figured he’d still do better.

Newsletter: Baby steps. Can you beat Rhett?
Matt: Yeah, marriage has sucked the life out of all those guys,

Newsletter: How about Alex and Derek after that?
Matt: I would be upset if I lost to alex, I’ll leave that to Dave. Derek will hopefully too break his mind on the jlpt and set a terrible lineup.

I don’t know if I explained this grad school thing to you, I have 0 free time. I was up all night finishing a paper last night. I took 15 minute naps every 2 hours. This is not unusual. I don’t have time to research my players, if I win I thank CBS analysis, if I lose I curse it. (ed: I have no idea what that is like. I’m unemployed.)

*Final thoughts

Derek and I win key games. We both are 1 win away from wildcard berths. If Brian and Matt lose one, we are both in too. Tim and Chris are in. All this is of course assuming our 99+ point lead in total points stand tall.

Love how we have our division and league set up with division winners plus 2 wildcard spots. Shame there isn’t more drama at the end of the season. Have to put that on us letting Tim and Chris go on huge tears and not the format.

I am going to bitch about my WRs. WTF. They are all injured. I am deep at RB not WR. Grrr.

Hope this week’s hottie makes up some for last week’s.

Great week. Tons of close games.

Trade deadline has passed so you guys can quit updating your “On the block” page.

We are finally in the playoff push. Most of the married folks are out of the running but don’t stop setting your lineups. You can spoil someone’s playoff hopes and maybe end up with a winning record.

*Week 10 Review

This week was torture. Things didn’t go terribly but they didn’t go as well as I wanted. My RBs are solid. My WRs were ok. Crabtree had a TD called back. Nicks had some passes picked off. Nick Folk shanked 3 FGs. Missed one in overtime. Didn’t get a shot at one in overtime due to a TD. Kickers are such a big deal this season. And Hernandez. Nothing. Not one point or catch. And the Chiefs DST. They decided to play like a high school team. I was happy to see Manning didn’t do shit and neither did Turner. Glad Bowe was benched because I’m always badmouthing him. But his starters really came through. The big problem was Roethlisberger throwing to Wallace and then Ward got hurt in the game. And the Steelers went down by a lot and had to throw tons. Nice win Derek. Nice win.

Tim blew Kevin out. Look at the Colts DST. Nice play using Garrard. Kevin’s RB troubles continue. He picked all the wrong guys to start.

I thought Rhett had this game before Monday. Brian had Ward knocked out and Jones did nothing. But Vick is a juggernaut. Amazing. Nice win Brian. Rhett had some nice plays. Orton and Moreno. But missed a bunch of other plays too.

Chris continues to win. Another close game. Thought Matt had this one. Solid RBs and White looks like next year’s top WR. Chris had a nice play from Freeman on the bye. But thanks to Vick’s heroics and the Eagles DST, he pulled 28 from his 2 Monday players and got there. I’m happy because this gets Matt off my back but this was Matt’s game. Tough loss.

Dave and Alex had an epic battle. A bit like 2 heroic midgets in wheelchairs. They ended in a tie. But Alex had all the strategy. He left 89 points on the bench to win by tiebreakers. Including 3 RBs that all scored more than his starters.

*Best plays and worse plays

Alex 89 bench points. Almost every play, save a 3 point bench WR for a 4 point starter, was the wrong move. But he still got there!

Dave lost to AK.

Brian played Vick.

*Interview – Thanks Derek

Newsletter: I don’t need to tell you that your draft was rather terrible. What was the plan going in on draft day?
Derek: There was a plan.  It was just a terrible, terrible, terrible plan.

I had a strong team last year, so I figured I would follow the same game plan—get a really strong starting line to begin with.  I wanted the best TE, DEF and Kicker in the league, along with a good QB and 2 good RBs and WRs.  I wasn’t going to give a shit about my bench till my line was full.  I started using the wire last year near the end of the season after Kevin Smith like broke his leg, and I was looking forward to doing it again.  So my plan this year was to use it from the start.

However, my team just fucking fell to pieces when my PC lagged out and I auto-drafted an extra QB really early, and then Ryan Grant broke his ankle in the FIRST FUCKING GAME. If any of you fuckers complain to me about a player not putting up enough points…remember that my first round draft pick got me FOUR FUCKING POINTS THIS SEASON.

And Hartley, oh Hartley…..well his name has a nice ring to it.  Eat a bag of dicks Chris.

Newsletter: You’ve had pretty amazing success off the waiver wire. Rhett must be cursing your name every single week since he loves the wire but rarely finds anything near that level of success. How are you doing it? It isn’t like you are pickup up just the most obvious choices after injuries. You are getting guys that could as easily do jack shit and turning them ALL into gold.
Derek: How am I doing it?  The ability to read at higher than a 3^rd grade level?  General reasoning skills?  Testicles?  I’m not really sure but the only thing I can say for certain is SUCK IT RHETT.

Newsletter: Although I know exactly how it all went down, please explain to our audience how you beat me in that close game this week.
Derek:  Yeah, that game was just silly.  Specifically—the Steelers game.  Prior to that, Turner, Manning, and the Chief’s DEF all crapped their pants on the field and just waddled around all game and put up shit for points.  (I know you like puns).  So both of our teams were looking pretty bad.

It is pretty hard to express my feelings about that last game…I just hated watching it.  I went in about 10 points ahead with only Wallace to play.  You had Big Ben and a TE on New England.  Now that should have been yours, but Ward got injured early, leaving—you guessed it—Wallace as the main man.  You still should have won, but then New England, being the Patriots that they are, realized they hate dirty Mexicans and wouldn’t let Hernandez touch the ball.  ‘MERICA FUCK YEAH!

Watching NE on offense was terrible because I was worried that the Mexican was going to get a TD or some shit.  Then when the Steelers were on offense it was even worse cause anything but a long bomb would get Ben points.

But that is what he did; two bombs in the 4^th quarter to Wallace right in the end zone.

-ed: So I finally get the lead in the 4th Q. But it didn’t last. Every time Roethlisberger threw, it was deep because they were down. There was an INT somewhere but NE didn’t eat clock. They just gave it to their TE for a TD. The TE I was on the fence about getting instead of Hernandez because I knew he got the TDs but Hernandez was coming off a hot game. You can imagine this was tough to watch. Then I had to hope Roethlisberger wasn’t throwing to a black man. But he did. And it was always the same one.

Newsletter: Let’s look at the playoff picture. Tim in married-land. Chris. Me and you are tied for the wildcard spots. I’m fucking elated Matt got robbed by Chris in that Monday game. Gives me breathing room. My final 4 game schedule looks just like yours. 3 hard division games and a easy non-division game. Matt’s schedule was much easier. Two non-division games left. Your thoughts on who makes it into the playoffs.
Derek: I was pretty happy when Matt lost too, but I felt so dirty cheering for Chris….

Honestly, I think with that schedule Matt will make it over one of us.  But I’m not sure if it will be you or me.

Newsletter: Who do you think is the easiest of the current favorites for the playoffs to beat? The toughest?
Derek:  Easiest?  Let’s be honest, no one wants to play Chris.  It’s not just the points he puts up—it’s how he undresses you with his eyes.

Timmy hasn’t been as hot as he was before, but he is still a threat, as well as a total douche bag. (sorry I got nothing)

So probably you.  But I wouldn’t call it easy.  Mother joke.

Newsletter: Bonus question. Was for last week’s but never got published. What’s up with the other division. Except for Tim, everyone has a losing record. Marriage and fantasy football obviously doesn’t mix. And does that imply Tim is being a horrible husband?
Derek:  I was thinking about that too.  How can those guys be so fucking terrible?

Guys…Tim, Chris, and myself are Canadians.  CANADIANS.

Read that again and let it sink in.

Doesn’t that sting a little?  Like that time you got the clap in Las Vegas?  And Timmy?  Yeah, what the fuck is up with that.  It must be his wife playing for him, you know how good Asians are at math and studying and shit.  Asians that aren’t name Kevin anyhow.

On a totally different note, I wish there was a little more news-making and insulting going on in the league. It might be nice if next year we had another award (like 200 bucks or something) for best trash talker or news-maker.  We could have a vote or something at the end of the season.  It might make the news feed a lot more fun.

*Final thoughts

Three guys fighting for 2 spots. Matt is a game back but has an easy schedule. Me and Derek have though schedules. I think this format is great with the 2 divisions, 2 wildcard teams and division games at the end of the season. Would be even better if the other division came to play this season.

I think I get Matt in a close one. Neither of us has terrible matchups. If Schaub messes up that knee, all the better. Go JETS. Kind of a big must win game for me. A loss for me would put Derek up a game. Then I have to go play him for a tie.

I would love Rhett to win this but doesn’t seem likely. Glad I’m against Manning vs. NE.

Thursday Night Football starts TONIGHT! Don’t forget to set your lineups NOW!

Trade deadline is fast approaching. Sunday night.

That was a great story from Derek. I love that Canadian humor even though I don’t quite understand all the puns. This pun was especially vexing. “Koldenhof was unavailable … he was last scene…” Last scene must be some great Canadian pun that only those currently engaged in the profession of teaching English can understand.

*Week 9 Review

I was right about not being in a position to swap Gates for someone who was playing on Sunday if he couldn’t play. I’m lucky I didn’t get a loss for it. But thanks to Brian getting terrible production from his RBs and WRs, it wasn’t a problem. Looks like I played the wrong backup RB. Brandon Jackson comes up big on my bench and Bush does shit starting. Saints DST show up this year for the first time just as I start them. Good deal.

Tim rolls right over Rhett on Foster’s continued great play. Another 31 points. DeSean, who Tim stole from Alex, went for 18 and Rodgers went for 27. Just those 3 guys would have been enough. Rhett had the good Mike Williams but didn’t start him. Not that it would have been enough.

Alex sets a new record low points scored in a single game. At this pace, he might set a new season low total points. Kevin gets the win with the 3rd lowest score of the week. I think Kevin needs to move Andre Johnson for some help at RB. Only a few more days to do it too.

Dave, how unlucky. 94 points is pretty good. But you were up against Derek as he set the new league record high score. 151. New record. Highs and lows in the same week. Derek continues to pull good stuff off the wire. Tamme for 16. Derek started all the right guys and left just 30 on the bench.

Chris wins again. Over Matt this week. Great job picking the Cardinals DST this week. AP never seems to have a down week. Matt has a ton of viable RBs. And I don’t know why he hasn’t started Bradshaw. Guy’s been great. Runs for a great O-line. Runs for a high scoring team. Matt, if you haven’t noticed, you can use serious help at WR.

*Best plays and worse plays

Derek got the Bucs DST (playing against the Panthers this week) from Kevin for Donald Brown. That might be enough to get you the win this week. Fucker.

Tim got DeSean Jackson for BJGE. Smells like traderape to me.

Tim didn’t start TO but he went for 26. I don’t like how Tim is getting such great trades.

Derek for league highest week score ever and doing a perfect job of coaching this week.

Alex for the lowest ever score.

*Interview – Brian is still too upset to talk about getting his ass handed to him this week.

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

Great to see Brandon Jackson producing. Not quickly enough to move him in a trade, though. Alex would have gotten a better deal trading for him instead of BJGE.

Glad I have a serviceable backup TE. Gates might not be OK for a bit. Fucking sucks about Collie. Should have been resting his hand and not playing and getting his head squished. I need him being a stud again for me. I’ll probably swap Sjax for Charles before the weekend. Crabtree needs to do shit this week. I drafted him to not suck this much.

I’m not at all confident this week against Derek. He’s been doing really well lately and his team is really coming together. Go Cincy D!!! I’m playing against the most consistent DST this year: the team playing against the Panthers. He’s making a mistake keeping Bowe on the bench this week, though.

*What about yous?

NE’s current offense is fucking Welker owners over. I don’t think he is even startable anymore. I’d start the bad Mike Williams over him.

Quit padding Tim’s team with good stuff!

3 teams are going to the playoffs from the unmarried division. Save for Tim, those other guys are still trying to make .500.

Nice work getting some trades done this week. I don’t expect to join in any of the near deadline trades myself but it’s interesting to see some moves being made.

*Week 8 Review

I totally expected Dave to put up no fight at all. With his team all on bye. Wasn’t the case. I almost didn’t get there. I didn’t expect Lewis to go off like that. Guess he makes up for Britt’s points. That Redskin DTD saved my ass. They were useless all night but that DTD was huge. Thanks to Dave for benching Fitz as he pulled in 2 TDs. Sunday night’s game was very exciting as neither of our teams scored many points. I was trailing by a few points all game long. Glad I pulled through in the end.

Rhett gets a nice win over Brian and it puts Rhett one game ahead of Brian in his division. Brady has been unimpressive lately. Maybe even a liability? I’m amazed Ryan Mathews finally gets a TD. Tolbert didn’t steal this one. Nice job by Brian playing the Raiders DST this past week.

Chris continues to juggernaut over the rest of the league. Scoring 121 points in a very low scoring week to get the week’s top score. How about that kicker for 19 points. Eat your heart out Hartley. Kevin had some bad luck getting paired against Chris this week. He would have beat almost every other team. One point less than the 2nd top-scoring team. Nice job playing the Bucs DST. Garcon couldn’t do that much even though most of the good receivers are injured for the Colts.

Tim’s team continues to show how fragile it is. Lowest scoring team this week. Only Foster broke double digits.

Derek got a nice win over Alex. How did Derek get a win with his 2 starting RBs out for bye week? How did he do it without trading for a RB? By being a waiver wire superman. Blount went off for 24. And he also nabbed Stewart. Stewart should have been a nice start since Williams was out due to injury. Not that Alex put the injured Williams on his bench. Nope. Third week Alex has left players in his lineup that didn’t play. Bowe continues to fool Derek into playing him. He could have started Lloyd instead and gotten 22 points.

*Best plays and worse plays

Dave left Fitz on his bench the one week he goes off.

The coach of the Chinese was brilliant when he started the injured Sjax instead of Bush or Charles.

Brian, what is TO doing on your bench? I get the feeling you just don’t trust the man since you benched him then traded him.

Rhett got and started the right Mike Williams. His got 16. The one playing for the Chinese got 2.

Did I mention Alex started another player who didn’t play?

*Interview – Thanks Dave

Newsletter: How did your draft go? Were you happy with what you got on  draft day?
Dave: I live in Japan. Japan has zero access to live video of the NFL. Hence, we don’t have ESPN’s 5 week long in depth specials on how to draft on 3 times a day. Hence, I just used the shitty ass CBS Sports rankings to determine who to take next. About the only decision making I did was how soon to draft draft backups for each position. I thought I did ok in the draft, but now can see that I did shitty. I can never seem to get any good receivers and my RBs have sucked too.

Newsletter: Some of your top draft choices have been under performing. Do you see any hopes of them improving their production down the road?
Dave: Nope, not really. But I haven’t seen any of them in action. To me, they are just numbers on a screen.

Newsletter: It was a close one this week. Watching that Pitt vs NO game was nerve wracking. And all your guys were on bye. I don’t think you intended for your whole team to be on bye at the same time but it kind of seems like a good idea. Trying it again next year?
Dave: I kinda started to draft that way in the later rounds. I figured that it would be a guaranteed loss, but if my wide receiver didn’t go down, or if my kickers team had been stopped inside the 20 just once instead of scoring five fucking times, I would have bested you.

Newsletter: Is it time for some make it or break it blockbuster hail mary trades?
Dave: Can you honestly say that anybody wants anybody from my team? If you do, please let me know, I am open to a trade. Except from you Rhett, you always offer the shittiest trades of all time, all fucking time!

Newsletter: So I know I haven’t gotten you the league fees yet. My fault. How many other losers are like me this year? I’m sending you a Christmas card with the cash in it. So please get me your mailing address.
Dave: My mailing address is :

700-0854
Kita-Ku Tooka-Ichi Higashi-Machi 4-31
Okayama-shi
JAPAN
David Fulvio

replace all periods with dashes, my World of Warcraft keyboard is fucked up and only does periods for some reason…
Get me the fees, cuz I am gonna get a trophy this year. BTW, if you know where I can get a trophy made in Japan, please tell me.

*Trade Rumors

Thomas Jones for TO. Good trade.

Green-Ellis for Jackson. Tim got a good deal.

I look at Matt’s team and I see a ton of great RBs. Maybe too many. Make a trade man!

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

Charles fucking went off! Now I need him to do the same this week when my top 2 RBs are on bye. Bush is continuing to develop. Not fast enough to trade, though. Colston is finally scoring. Gates is the best TE I’ve ever seen. He’s hurt though. And I won’t be in position to get a backup if he doesn’t play this week. Collie is getting healthier. Once he comes back, my team will look really good. I don’t expect to make any trades because the guys I would want to trade are not at the peak of their value.

There will be an interesting Thomas Jones vs Jamaal Charles matchup this week when I take on Brian.

Know what sucks? The unmarried division is winning far more than the married folks. But catching Chris seems hard. Tim is ahead on the other side but he could have easily ended up at 4-4.

Don’t forget the trade deadline is something like 2 weeks away from now. November 14.

I’ve got to do some bitching first. Has nothing to do with our league but I’ve got to get it out. So this guy I know also plays Fantasy Football and sometimes we talk about our teams. He tells me about this trade he did. Vick (his) for Peterson. I didn’t really think it was one that went through. Maybe he was just talking about some trade rape wet dream he had. So here I am tell him how absurd that deal is. And he goes on and on defending how fair it is for the guy getting Vick. Then I understand that this isn’t conjecture but a real trade. It is bad enough that he plays in a league where there is a guy giving up AP for Vick. Even if that idiot has enough depth to only take a minor hit in average points per game. And how did he wind up SO desperate for a QB? Apparently there was a huge early run on QBs and 8th round QBs went in the second or third round. Lots of fucking morons joining the run instead of getting value. The worse part is not the trade. I’d be bragging to anyone who would listen how I trade raped some guy with his own dick. But that guy I knew keeps fucking telling me how fair all this is.

This was one fucked up week. Tons of folks just went off on people’s benches.

*Week 7 Review

Me and Kevin split our series. It felt pretty good getting the top score. I was lucky getting Kevin’s team all injured and on bye. But he still put up a very respectable 94 points. Torain is getting it done and I think he’s a step up from Portis. Tolbert keeps stealing TDs and keeps doing shit other than stealing those TDs. This was the first DTD I got all season. Unlike last year, there hasn’t been as much fantasy good off waiver wire DSTs.

Alex is having an interesting season. This was a very win-able game. Dave put up just 75 points. But Alex couldn’t manage the win. He didn’t even leave that many points on the bench either. Roy Williams makes you think he is going to not suck. Then in your lineup, he goose eggs you. Nice job of being the coach, Dave. Left 117 on the bench. Made 2 correct plays: not playing the injured Donald Brown and you played the right kicker. And yes, Alex was the only person Dave could have beat.

Nice job Matt handing Tim his first loss. Tim probably should be at his third loss but the FF gods are smiling on the ginger bastard 😀 McFadden and Evans went off on Matt’s bench. Roddy White went off too.

Derek wins over Brian. Bowe is proving me wrong by not dropping every ball thrown to him. Lloyd must be a headache. So inconsistent. Brian seems to need a LOT of help at RB. Matthews is a huge bust. Tolbert is actually kicking his ass. And there’s Ivory. MJD had a decent game but has been a bust this season so far. Two weeks Brian. Nice work not starting Brady at QB from your roster of 4. I can see why Cassel was played over Fitzpatrick.

Great job handing Chris his first loss, Rhett. And you did it with Romo going out of the game early too. Moreno finally showed up, eh?

*Best plays and worse plays

How does Fitzpatrick go for 18, 20, 20, 33 and then get dropped by Brian. How does he go for 11 TDs in 4 games with 4 INTs and not get picked up by anyone. How does the guy who loses Romo go for Kitna instead of Fitzpatrick. I’d pick him up as my backup myself but I like Palmer’s playoff schedule better. Wait. Fuck that. I’m going to get him right now. OK. Maybe I was too harsh. He’s still on the wire.

Every possible choice Dave could have made, save the 2.

Rhett started Moreno over Lynch. I’d have played Lynch. Two garbage time TDs are pretty good.

*Interview – Thanks Kevin

Newsletter: Tell me about your draft strategy and some of the reasons why you drafted some of the guys you did. How do you feel about the players you drafted now?
Kevin:  I was stuck at Mount Lassen during the draft with a very limited internet connection which lead to autodrafting a few player.  I was not and still am very unhappy with my draft this year.  My main strategy this year since I was at the end of the draft was to get a stud WR 1st and a consistent back on the wrap around since I didnt have a lot of confidence in the RB’s ranked 7-10.  I tried to focus on having a solid 5 man roster with solid backups to compensate for the lack of superstar RBs.  In hind sight I should have picked mendenhall, benson or jackson but I didn’t see good things from either teams during the off season like the Rothlessburger incident and preseason losses.  I usually like to pick guys on good teams that I think are going to do well this year.  Hence drafting players from the Jets, Ravens, Texans, GB and Saints avoiding players from the Rams, Lions, Brown etc.

Newsletter: Your team wasn’t scoring many points in the first few weeks. Then during these last two weeks, it starting clicking. What changed? Was it because of coaching decisions or were your players just cold early on?
Kevin:  Most of my players are just cold and injured.  Andre Johnson has been quiet except a few games and I have been neglecting my coaching this year. (-ed: fixed some typos)

Newsletter: What kind of moves do you think you need to make, if any, for the future?
Kevin:  I need to apologize to the other owners who I have been ignoring your messages from trades.  I haven’t had much time for fantasy football this year because we are buying a house and having a baby.  So this year I have been using my limited free time to search for houses instead of paying attention to the waiver wires and my usual line up analysis.  Instead of surfing ESPN, CBS, Yahoo and NFL.com for fantasy information.  I have been searching zillow, redfin, movoto and tullia for a good deal on a house. (-ed: Foreclosure house!)

Newsletter: Would you entertain a big move for one of your star players? For example: Andre Johnson. He hasn’t been amazing so far. What kind of offer would you be looking for to move him or is he just not on the trading block at all?
Kevin:  Sure, I really should trade Andre and get some depth at RB.  Make me an offer I cant refuse and I will do it.  Shonne green was a wasted pick and Pierre Thomas cant stay health.  In fact almost all my RBs have been a bust.  It was a very unusual draft for me.  I picked a lot of landmines and guys that were expected to be good values rather than who i wanted.

Newsletter: How about some advice for your fellow players. Let’s say Matt. He’s still in the hunt. He’s not a direct divisional competitor.
Looking at his team, what are some moves you think he needs to make?
Kevin:  Matt has a great team, I love the combo of Schaub, Johnson and White.  The emergence of Mcfadden as a beast was something I never saw coming.  I guess its because I am a niners fan so I naturally hate the Raiders.  I think his team is in good shape, he just needs to work the waivers in case someone goes cold or gets injured.  In fantasy, you are always one injury away from losing.  Usually the team with the strongest bench comes out on top at the end so don’t get complacent.

*Trade Rumors

Brian was overheard at the local pet shop grumbling about his shitty RBs. He probably should be moving some of them for some RB help. Maybe packaged with one of his QBs. Maybe some guy with a bad haircut.

An employee at an anonymous bathhouse reports that Chris was bragging about how his team is amazing and how the guys he plays Fantasy Football with suck hairy butt. Sure, Chris. It was really an onsen and not a bathhouse. Right.

Kevin was seen racing to his computer from the local church to put in a claim for a QB. Both his QBs are on bye. He was at the church praying for Portis to stay out since Torain has been so much better. Someone needs to help Kevin out with a RB or 2. My spare RBs haven’t panned out enough to make a legit offer. Now’s the time to move Garcon. His value won’t be higher. If he didn’t drop half the balls thrown to him, he’d be good.

I’d have considered talking to Rhett about Mike Williams but the two WRs I got off the wire are about as good.

Derek needs help at RB this week. His guys are both on bye and his backups suck. Seems like Alex gets a free win. Or will Alex find another way to lose. I’d be kind of pissed if Derek manages a win without doing anything about his crap RBs this week.

Matt is busting at the seems with RBs and needs help at WR. He was overheard at the fancy beauty salon (he wouldn’t trust his sideburns to some wanks calling them selves barbers, no sir, he needs a stylist) talking about keeping McFadden instead of trading him. Move him before he gets hurt again. Go talk to Kevin or Brian meng.

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

McFadden tanked any hopes of me trading Bush. I’ll just have to use him as a backup once McFadden gets hurt. Not that I need another RB. Charles is performing well but Jones is killing his value. The Chiefs are doing some amazing shit on the ground. Much like Oakland. Amazingly, Brandon Jackson is showing signs of life. If he can put together another 2 good games, I can move him! Collie won’t be returning for a while. Damned shame since Clark is out. He should be tearing the WR boards up but that ball dropping fucker Garcon is going to benefit. Crabtree should be dropped but I’m still holding out hope. I’m worried about Gates. Backup TEs are few and far due to injuries. And I don’t want to trade for a backup.

Dave’s whole team is on bye. Free win for me!

I was terribly disappointed this week. It only took 2 quarters of football before I realized I would lose to Kevin. Drains the life right out of you.

And the injuries keep piling up. Especially to TEs. But you know they haven’t hit Chris at all.

*Week 6 Review

I was really hoping to get a win against Kevin. I was even expecting it. His team has been under-performing all season. But his breakout game happened against me. A whole bunch of his guys explode in my face. Even Greg Jennings. Even Ryan Torain. And all three of my receivers could muster up was 6 points. Roethlisberger was great though.

Dave had a good shot at beating Chris this week. It was close. But it didn’t work out. Chris had a limp TE and WR (thanks to the TD that got recalled for Austin). But Dave’s WRs and TEs came up even more limp. Nice job leaving 27 points on the bench, Chris.

Malcolm Floyd is just killing Brian. 27 points on Brian’s bench. One point in his lineup. And Ryan Mathews keeps losing goalline touches to Tolbert. Terrible stuff. All this helped Matt to a nice win. Matt made the right call going with Bradshaw over McCoy.

Tim keeps on rolling. And his damn team name is finally short enough to see all the information on the live scoring. Derek isn’t catching any breaks. Bowe (yeah, shockingly) goes off for 22! Should be the season high for him. All on his bench. Dallas Clark is out for the season too.

Rhett. How you must feel. You lost to Alex. It was close but you lost. I would blame Tolbert. Stealing TDs and running for some 14 yards over 15 rushes over 2 weeks. I’d blame the Bears DST too. If it weren’t for Hester in garbage time, they would have given you only 2 points. I’d blame DeSean Jackson rushing for 44 yards and a TD too. Fuck. While I’m blaming folks, I’d blame Alex for setting his damn lineup too.

*Best plays and worse plays

So Vjax is going to report at the end of the month. Someone needs to pick him up.

Colston and Nicks starters. 5 Points. Crabtree and Collie bench. 22 points. Nice job there, coach of the Chinese.

Kevin, Greene will break your heart every week if you let him. Don’t let his smile and sweet words talk you into starting him. He will just leave you high and dry while LT does little touchdown dances.

Dave, why do you have 2 kickers?

*Interview – Maybe next week.

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

I play Kevin back to back. I hope we split the series. Andre Johnson is on bye. And his RBs are all hurt and due for terrible games. Flacco is going to go off though. I’m facing some injuries. Gates. Collie out for a while. I’ve got good match-ups all around, though.

I’m glad Crabtree is getting looks and TDs. I need him to develop into someone I can start. Charles is developing too. But I don’t think it will be enough to get him into a trade. Same with Bush.

Nearly all my guys play at 1pm so I might be in for a depressing day again.

What the fuck, Alex. What the fuck. I think that is the sentiment from the 8 other players in the league. Seriously, what the fuck.

*Week 5 Review

It’s been a while since Rhett has gotten a win against me. Not a lot went right for Rhett. His DST was terrible. Boldin egged him. Single digits save for Romo and Benson. Playing Collie probably wasn’t a great idea but he’s been too hot to bench and Colston has been too cold to play.

Dave roars back to life with the week’s top score. Ray Rice explodes. Double digits for nearly all of his team. Good job picking the right DST from the 3 you own. Not a bad effort from Matt considering his QB took a shit on his team. Ocho is missing all the action thanks to TO.

Derek’s had an interesting ride this year. He drafted a pretty crap team. But somehow he has picked up waiver wire gold. Hillis has been a stud from out of nowhere. And now he even has Lloyd in there going off. He gets the win even though tons of his players weren’t playing. And a bunch of his starters were sucking ass too. Kevin’s whole team seem to be having a bad year.

Brian’s team had a big bye week but he pulls Shaun Hill off the wire for 21. Nice. Too bad the rest of your team didn’t do much and Floyd was on the bench for 27. Not that it would have been enough to get Chris. Chris must be thinking 3-peat at this point.

Tim’s whole team gets injured and he winds up with the second lowest score of the week. He still beats Alex who started 2 players on bye and one injured player. Tim is 5-0 but easily could be 3-2 but for 1 yard in the game against me and Alex setting his line-up. I guess it isn’t my division but damn, those married dudes must be fucking pissed. Just setting the other TE on Alex’s roster would have done it.

*Best plays and worse plays

Garrett Hartley gets his job back. But so what? The Saints aren’t nearly the same team and Hartley shouldn’t even be started in a 10 man league.

Tim left Forte’s 30 points on the bench.

Matt still doesn’t trust Z. Miller.

Dave finally dropped the extra DSTs from his team.

Rhett finally dropped VJax but the rumors of his return are increasing. I don’t know if that makes it a good or bad play for Rhett.

*Interview – Love the caps, Rhett.

Newsletter: Tell me about your draft strategy and some of the reasons why you drafted some of the guys you did.
Rhett:  FIRST, I WILL WRITE IN CAPS TO EXPRESS MY RAGE. KNOWING OUR LEAGUE, I WANTED TO GET A RB EARLY. CEDRIC BENSON HAS BEEN OK, BUT NOT GREAT. HOPEFULLY HE WILL IMPROVE. KNOW-SHO MORENO HAS BEEN KILLING ME. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HOPE MARSHAWN LYNCH STARTS RUNNING LIKE HE IS CHASING THE GUY WHO STOLE HIS GOLD TEETH. AS FOR WRS, I REALLY THOUGHT FLACCO WAS GOING TO BE A MONSTER AND BOLDIN WOULD BENEFIT FROM THAT. UNFORTUNATELY, THAT ONLY HAS HAPPENED ONCE SO FAR. WAYNE HAS BEEN DECENT. ROMO HAS BEEN OK, DESPITE THE COWBOYS SUCKING MORE ASS THAN ALEX KETCHUM. I LIKE VERNON DAVIS STILL FOR HIS TDS. BUT KEV O’S 49ERS DST SCREWED ME. I THOUGHT I HAD A SOLID DST, BUT WAS WAY WRONG. MIKE SINGLETARY SHOULD ROT IN HELL. FINALLY, I PICKED UP VJAX WITH MY LAST PICK AS A STEAL PICK THINKING HE WAS NOT A FUCKING IDIOT AND WOULD EVENTUALLY PLAY. BUT NO…HE IS A FUCKING IDIOT.

Newsletter: Now that we are 5 weeks in, tell me how well you think you did on that draft. Disappointments. Mistakes. Brilliant moves. Etc.
Rhett: I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT MY DISAPPOINTMENTS. I DO NOT THINK I HAD ANY BRILLIANT MOVES. OVERALL, DRAFT WAS JUST OK. I WILL NEED A WAIVER WIRE MIRACLE.

Newsletter: It looks like Chris and Tim might already have their respective divisions locked down. Especially with Alex ignoring his lineup completely. How does it look for you for one of the 2 playoff spots?
Rhett: I DO NOT KNOW IF WE CAN ANOINT ANYONE AS PLAYOFF-BOUND YET. WE HAVE AWHILE AND INJURIES APPEAR TO BE RAVAGING SOME TEAMS. THAT BEING SAID, I WOULD LIKE TO PETITION THE COMMISSIONER TO EXPAND THE PLAYOFFS TO SIX TEAMS. I WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL THOUGH. STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. JUST ASK ALEX ABOUT HIS NIGHT AT THE “GEI BAR’ IN MATSUYAMA….

Newsletter: What are some of the moves you think you need to make to get there, if any?
Rhett: YOU KNOW ME. I LIKE TO MAKE TRADES. JUST PART OF THE FUN OF FANTASY FOOTBALL. HOWEVER, THERE IS NOT MUCH ACTIVITY OUT THERE. I COULD USE AN RB, BUT WHO COULDN’T. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A TRADE, CALL ME AT 1-800-IHATEKETCHUM OR, IN JAPAN, 1-800-KETCHUMDAIKIRAI….JUST JOKING ALEX, I DO NOT HATE YOU…BUT I KINDA DO….

Newsletter: So it looks like you will be 3-3 next week due to your bye. What is your reaction to Alex’s play? Sure, it is a free win for you next week but it makes it THAT much harder for you to win your division or a playoff spot.
Rhett: THE FUN OF THE LEAGUE IS THAT EVERYONE TRIES UNTIL THE END. HONESTLY, I AM IN A FEW LEAGUES, AND THIS ONE IS THE MOST COMPETITIVE BY FAR, DESPITE HAVING A BUNCH OF CANADIANS, EX-PATS, AND MARRIED DUDES IN IT. SO IT SEEMS DUMB NOT TO AT LEAST SET YOUR LINE UP, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OPPOSING TEAM HAD TWO PLAYERS GO DOWN AND PUT UP ZERO POINTS. SO YEAH, IT IS PRETTY ANNOYING. AND I HAVE A FEELING THAT EVERYONE FEELS THE SAME. BUT IN THE END, IF HE DOES NOT SET HIS LINEUP, I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I ONLY HOPE THAT THIS LEAGUE NEVER HAS ANOTHER MAPLE-SYRUP DRINKING, HOCKEY-STICK TOTING CANUCK WIN IT EVER AGAIN. BRING IT BACK HOME, PATRIOTS. BRING IT BACK HOME.

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

I’ve been pretty bad at QB and am really happy to get Roethlisberger back. I have to hope he doesn’t assault any girls for the next few months. Amazing how Gates has been getting so many TDs. Hoping Vjax stays away the whole year. Don’t be a punk ass bitch and come back. Charles is getting more touches. In a few weeks, he will be a stud bench guy. Bush is developing nicely too. I should have some very nice RBs in a few weeks up for trade. The only thing I am looking for is a super-stud WR. Not a lot of those. Many of the big names WRs are not performing that great. The ones that have been really good are all on Chris’ team.

Nice to see that Alex set his team this week, unlike the last 2 weeks.

Tim and Chris already seem destined for the playoffs. Not only are they winning all their games, they are also the top scoring teams. The rest of us are probably fighting for the 2 wildcard spots.

It was much closer last year. All the fortune seems to have gone to a couple of players and the misfortune to a few others.

*Week 4 Review

Alex gave me a bye this week. He didn’t even bother with a kicker.

Arian Foster owners must be patting themselves on their backs around the country. It gives me just a bit of hope to see that Tim’s RBs are starting to appear human. The ones not named Arian Foster, at least. This was almost a week where Tim was beatable. If the Chargers DST didn’t assrape the Cardinals, Rhett would have had a shot. Rhett didn’t learn from his experience with Maroney in 2008. He just loves the man.

Brian loses Vick to injury and still gets the win. I would imagine this is what retarded midget ultimate fighting would be like, though. MJD finally comes through. It isn’t just that Brian and Dave’s starters didn’t do any scoring. I can’t understand why both of them have 3 DSTs.

Derek can’t catch a break. AP is on bye for Chris and LT steps up and fucks Derek over. Both AP and Miles Austin were on bye. Scary team. Hillis continues to impress. Turner doesn’t. Addai is still scoring.

Kevin continues to soak in bad news. Not only does he lose this week, but the situation for his team continues to deteriorate. Forsett will get a new friend named Lynch. He has 2 Bears on his team. Portis is hurt. The only bright spot is Greene wasn’t useless. Behind LT, but lots of yards.

*Best plays and worse plays

Garrett Hartley.

Matt lost trust in Zach Miller too early.

Darren McFadden should have been traded last week. When his value peaked.

*Interview – Thanks to Alex for not responding

* Trade rumors – Taking a look at where teams are strong and weak and possible trades

Tim – Strong and crazy deep at RB. Two solid starters at WR. Could improve WR depth by trading away some RBs.

Brian – Starters all look fine. Depth at WR. After Vick gets healthy, can probably move a QB too. Needs help at RB.

Chris – Very deep at RB. Great starters at WR. LT and Addai could be moved for a RB but I don’t think anyone would make that trade.

Dave – Needs to make some bold and wise moves. Gotta move Rice and Fitz for guys that will break out. In a very deep hole so moves need to happen right away. Chris is probably best in position to take advantage. I don’t think Tim will let go of the high upside players on his team. Or maybe Dave will just keep his 2 high picks and eek out 2 or 3 wins.

Frankson – The guys I picked and hope for good stuff haven’t broken out yet. Just stuck with them until they do. I need help at WR. Collie has been gold. Colston isn’t consistent and I love consistent.

Alex – Someone could try making an offer for Brees or Williams or Jackson. Will take some dramatic moves to score some wins. Or maybe Alex and Dave could swap underachieving players and hope for the best.

Rhett – Needs good stuff at RB. He really needs Vjax to get traded so he can work out a deal for some RB help. Going to be hard since I can’t imagine anyone WANTING to trade with Rhett.

Derek – Found gold in Hillis. Has about 14 WRs on his bench. Some of those guys are probably going to break out but… I don’t have enough insight to figure out who. I would guess BAL and PIT.

Matt – Should have moved McFadden already. Move him while you can. Before his value falls even further. Now might be a good time to offer for Wells, Bradshaw or McCoy too.

*Looking forward

Should be a really close game between me and Rhett. Neither of us can afford to lose. I could be in for a really rough week if Collie is out. Wayne will just go off in my face.

Dave has no shot against Matt.

Kevin can win this if he starts Flacco, Torain and Andre Johnson. Take my advice and win out.

Brian you need to beat Chris. You really do. You can do it!

Tim by 45.

Just going to bitch away and get it all out.

Mother fucking one god damn yard a couple of different places. One rushing yard. Either one yard less when Rodgers rushed for the TD or one rushing yard when he scrambled for that first down. Or one god damn yard if he just took a knee.

Close games are always rough. This Monday night game was ulcer-making to watch.

*Week 3 Review

After Sunday’s early afternoon games, I thought I was in deep shit. Palmer is just a wreck even against an easy opponent. After the late games, I thought I was in the money. Collie has been stunning. I got him because every time I watch an Indy game, Garcon makes a few big plays but then drops a TON of balls. What am I going to do about Colston? Can I bench him? I don’t have many reliable choices. He’s fucking me up. Rodgers got what I expected. Finley was the killer. He should have had a TD actually. A bigger killer was Marshall. Shocked he came up as big as he did. Good win, Tim.

Brian steamrolled Kevin. Steelers DST continues to be amazing. Vick should be on my team but I didn’t manage to suck enough week 1 to get him. Kevin can’t score no points this season. His team looks terrible.

Rhett wins on the back of Boldin. Dave is getting his ass kicked by Derek Anderson. That injury to Rice is going to really mess his team up even more. His depth at RB is terrible.

Derek gets a nice win over Matt. Huge effort from his team. Where the hell did Hillis come from? And Bowe actually gets it done? His 8th round kicker shanked 2 FGs and lost the Saints the game but Derek got through OK. Think that kicker is going to get cut soon. Don’t know where that shootout with Dallas went. Schaub was supposed to go off.

Chris continues to be unstoppable. Even when most of his team poops up shit, he gets 3 big games from his guys. Alex got only 2 big games from his guys and the rest went to the can along with the dudes from Chris’ team.

*Best plays and worse plays

Austin Collie. Just brilliant.

Carson Palmer. Outsmarted myself. Thought he would have some nice matchups before Ben the rapist returns. Wanted roster space for WRs and RBs.

Not that it was a big difference. And not that Brandon Jackson is going to be useful. I thought Flacco was going to do well this week. Better than Ryan. That’s why I traded him. Right about dudes not on my team…

Derek started Hillis and Breaston. Nice work finding production from your team.

Matt STILL has 2 fucking kickers on his team. Brian has 3 DSTs. Are you people just hoarding them?

*Interview – Thanks Tim for sharing your wisdom

Newsletter: You’ve had a lot of success this season so far. Let me ask you about the draft for a bit. Did you have a strategy going into the draft? What was it? How well did you carry out that plan?
Tim: Yeah, I figured that since I had last pick, it was better to take premium players at undrafted positions rather than wasting a first/second round pick on a mediocre RB. So I wanted Rodgers an Moss and luckily enough that’s who I got. I wanted Foster and Best and thought they were attainable and they have worked out great so far. Foster, because he was to be the featured back on a high scoring team that wants balance at the run and Best because I watched a bunch of film on him in college and preseason and he looked sick.  I also wanted Finley at tight end. Got him.

Newsletter: How do you feel about the picks you made? Which were the ones you feel great about and which ones do you think are soft?
Tim:I love my team, but I need one more good back. Good news is that I have Santana Moss and Mark Clayton, both are kicking ass, so I should be able to make a trade for a bradshaw or a McFadden.  Talking to you here Matt!

Now that Marshall and Moss have kicked it into high gear, I have no regrets.

Newsletter: What are your thoughts about your opponents’ teams. Which one look strong? Which ones do you expect to play like Brian’s team last season? Were there any picks by your opponents you had thoughts about – good or bad?
Tim: We all know about the shit picks, as they were well documented in your post draft article. So I’ll go right to rankings. I like your team, because it’s balanced. If Matt had a 15pt receiver he’d be scary.  He has a deep team at RB. Solid. Chris has been scoring a lot of points, so I’m a little worried about that. Dave, kev and alex all suck and Rhett is a wildcard. Could crush me or get crushed.

Newsletter: A fucking tie. And your win due to tiebreakers. What were you expecting before the game from your team? How did you feel after Sunday’s afternoon games?
Tim: I felt great until best left the game with 3 points! I needed 53 between Rogers, finley and Marshall, so it was only slightly over their projected point totals. I was optimistic, then it was the fourth quarter and I thought. SHIT! I need Rogers to throw a 10 yrd TD to finley or have him rush for a TD. Unlikely. But then he rushes for a TD with minutes to go and we tie. 1 fucking yard less and I was screwed. Never had that close a game before. So hats off to Austin Fucking Collie. That was a painful game to watch.

Newsletter: So are you going to beat Rhett to go 4-0? Looks like QB off the wire for him.
Tim:i hope so.  I have to take a look at the matchups and get a RB to replace the injured Best. I will say this. There is no one I would rather stomp than Rhett “homoerotic Photoshop” Armstrong!

*Looking forward

Tons of players are hurt. And the byes are starting. Who’s got enough depth to win?

I’m going to kick Alex’s ass. Brees is hurt. Jets don’t have Revis back. Waiver wire TE for Alex. Panthers are just vile. I’ve only got to worry about Jackson being healthy enough to play.

Might be a close game between Rhett and Tim. Matchups are close. But Tim is safer bets on his team. Ryan Mathews should be back for SD, and Tolbert might not even be startable.

Dave’s players are not performing well this year. What the fuck is Dave doing with 2 DSTs with the same bye? I want to see 2 teams with 3 DSTs on roster against each other. It will be a retard fight but Brian is going to win this.

Derek, you better win this. Chris’ entire fucking team is on bye. Three are regular starters. Derek better not forget to replace his kicker. Got his ass benched.

Matt shouldn’t lose against Kevin. Kevin’s team is all banged up.

What the fuck is up with Tim and all the points his team is scoring? That shit ain’t cool. Not this week.

Chris is at the top of the standings along with Tim. Derek keeps losing close games. Dave has scored 30 more points than Kevin has but doesn’t have a single win.

Mike Vick is the starter. Wow. Right call for the Eagles. Now he gets to sit on Brian’s bench all year. I’m glad Vincent Jackson didn’t get traded. He’s an ass for sitting out.

*Week 2 Review – Highlights from Week 2

Matt’s team is quite solid. I was rather worried. Somehow, I hung in there with him, points wise, most of Sunday. Then fucking Matt Schaub and McCoy exploded at the end of their games. Two dudes got 61 points but the rest only put up 32 more. Thank you Chris Johnson for taking a bye week early.

How did Kevin beat Dave? The second lowest scoring team beat the lowest. Bad stuff. I thought Kevin was throwing the game when he picked up the Raiders DST. Dave’s team was even worse. Larry Johnson, on Dave’s bench, -7 yards.

I actually thought Brian was going to beat Tim this week. And his team put up numbers. But Best shower room raped Brian’s team with 40 points. Brian’s DST put up 30 but his RBs and TE were too busy in the shower to contribute.

Chris continues rolling over folks. This week it was Rhett. Next year, winner forfits a selection in the first round.

I can’t believe Alex won against Derek. Only because Derek almost had a miracle comeback. His 8th round kicker almost got him the win. If Colston didn’t make that big catch, Brees would be down a point. And the kicker would kick it from 4 or 5 point distance. Would have been fucking amazing to see his 8th round pick get him a win.

*Best plays and worse plays

Jahvid fucking Best

Thumbs up to Kevin for benching Greene.

Backhanded thumbs up to Derek for finally dropping Ryan Grant and Kevin Smith.

Matt STILL has 2 fucking kickers on his team.

*Interview – Thanks Matt for telling us that you have no idea what’s going on

Newsletter: Let’s talk about the draft for a bit. Did you have a strategy going into the draft? What was it? How well did you carry out that plan?
Matt: This probably isn’t a question I should answer honestly, because the basic answer is no. I had first draft, so Johnson was the obvious pick (although his 4 points this week were a huge disappointment). I didn’t really look at the drafting structure beforehand, and having been unable to draft last year I was kind of blindsided by the fact that my second pick was going to happen 20 players deep. I just assumed that it went in the same order each round. I was on a long ass trip before the draft so I didn’t have much research time, and what research I did do in the day before the draft was for the early rounds, which did not play out at all how I expected due to the draft system. Every player I had considered for my second pick was already gone by the time it rolled around.

Newsletter: How do you feel about the picks you made? Which were the ones you feel great about and which ones do you think are soft?
Matt: This was my first real draft, so I’m kind of glad that it didn’t go as badly as it could have. I don’t feel like I made any picks that were particularly clever, and any good picks I might have made (damn your 4 points, Johnson) were pretty much following conventional wisdom.

Newsletter: What are your thoughts about your opponents’ teams. Which one look strong? Which ones do you expect to play like Brian’s team last season? Were there any picks by your opponents you had thoughts about – good or bad?
Matt: Tim’s team is looking pretty terrifying, and Ketchum’s is… well… we all heard how hammered he was, It’s not his fault. Blame those girls for distracting him. I had no particular thoughts about any picks, I was too busy researching my next picks after my poorly conceived strategy fell apart.

Newsletter: This week against me, 2 of your players scored 2/3s of your points. None of them were named Chris Johnson. Do you prefer balanced production from your team or do you just love it when Schaub fucks me in the left eye socket and McCoy the right?
Matt: Schaub and McCoy on the eye sockets is alright, but I think you would have much preferred it if Johnson and Ochocinco had decided to DP your ass a bit, and maybe blow a load in your ear for extra credit, but sadly they came up soft when you wanted them hardest. I’ll buy them some cialis for the next match up if you say please.

Newsletter: Why the hell do you have 2 kickers on your team?
Matt: Soccer’s a good sport; in England, they’ve got hooligans.

*Looking forward

No way Tim blows up 3 times in a row. I’m liking most of the matchups save for Moss. I always hate going up against Tim. His teams are always explosive.

Brian should be feeling confident going up against Kevin. Kevin’s team hasn’t put up points so far at all. But Brian is making some interesting choices with his lineup. Sproles? Really? Hines Ward with that QB? Over Floyd playing against Seattle? I like Kevin in this one.

Dave has a good shot at going 0-3 against Rhett. I expect a close game. Romo should put up huge points for Rhett. I think that will be enough for Rhett to win.

Derek’s team looks like a mess. I hope I play him twice this year. Matt wins in a blowout.

Chris will be 3-0 after he whips Alex this week. I see terrible matchups for half of Alex’s team.