Well, I guess I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

Last night. Late enough that I don’t recall if it was 2019.03.22 or 2019.03.21, I think my wife and I separated. This is not a result I want. But the past two and a half years since she announced she would leave me have been an exercise in trying to survive with an ax hanging over my neck.

I don’t welcome this but it is a way forward. I don’t think she will accept me as I am any more than I can become the man she wants, however impossible that idea man of hers is, in the time frame she demands.

The the is the result kills me. I love my wife. I love her. I love my children. I don’t love how she all too often treats me. I don’t think she can stop feeling like I am doing too much and not doing enough. I don’t think she is as invested in our relationship as I am. I don’t think she is willing to work on it. If I did, as I have thought in the past, I might fight this. I won’t. It saddens me to my core that I don’t see a way forward for us. Because I continue to love her.

Sometimes, I really do feel my initials, FML, really do characterize my life.